Getting Cozy With… BigBee of the Whitetree!

bigbeeofthewhitetree-NSHello eyes & ears of AMBY,

BigBee of the Whitetree here in Kennebunk Maine just a few feet from the ocean. I am writing these words in an attempt to effectively communicate how my new project Navigating Shadows came to life. Ok here is the story as told from my perspective. A week after my grandmothers passing my mother told me she had a rare cancer. This news seemed violent and threatened my inner peace. I felt helpless towards the situation. It was like my beloved forest of my childhood was burning and soon it would be no more. I was angry. I was sad.

I preceded to drive 3500 miles from the Pacific Northwest to the seacoast of Maine. To keep my mind off the haunting and disturbing thoughts, I documented the journey by filming on my iPhone. The majority of the shots are seen from my perspective. Traveling alone, without radio or music to fill in the space, I listened to the surroundings and my inner dialog. When I arrived in Maine, I rented a beach house for the winter. Over the long, dark, cold season, I wrote & recorded songs. I integrated these songs with the footage documented on the road.

Navigating Shadows was my way of coping. I had been overwhelmed by the nature of life. I found my self in a trance as if I was dead. I was comforting myself by singing from a place of eternity. As a ghost singing from the other side. I was shapeshifting at the cellular level. I was a parasite, I was a white blood cell, I was beyond the clouds, I was ether, I was a pulse, I was empty, I was forgotten, I was buried, I was dead.

On the day I finished Navigating Shadows my mother finished her final chemotherapy. She was cleared by her doctor to go on with life.


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Alicia Atout

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